Here’s a new take on New Year’s resolutions I’ll bet you never thought of before: this new year, resolve to quit! Have you ever considered that maybe grit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Maybe grit isn’t always a good approach.
Most of us, including me, make New Year’s resolutions each year. And like most people, I don’t achieve them all. I probably quit half of them.
And guess what? I’m ok with that.
The research on quitting suggests that learning when to use grit and when to quit is perhaps one of the toughest but most important skills a person can master.
Grit vs. Quit: The Difference
Just to be clear, grit is composed of “passion and perseverance for long-term goals,” or basically just picking something you want to do and not quitting. It’s often thought of as the secret sauce to success.
American culture loves underdogs but doesn’t celebrate quitters. The grit idea leads us to believe that life’s winners worked at their goal harder and longer, while the losers dropped out.
But recent research shows that grit is misunderstood. Scientists at Iowa State University analyzed 88 different studies on grit. They point out that:
1) Grit studies selectively choose the statistics that make grit seem far more powerful than it is.
2) The correlation between grit and success is only modest and not much better than many other measures of success.
3) Grit is another way of explaining a long-established psychological trait of “conscientiousness.” The Iowa State researchers claim grit is “old wine in new bottles.”
Despite all that, the hype around grit has led many to believe that never quitting is the secret to success.
And it’s reinforced the idea that quitting kills all success. It’s true that people often pull the plug too early when the going gets tough.
But quitting, paradoxically, can often be the best way to get ahead.
Quitting isn’t always easier. It’s often a display of courage and self-awareness. Knowing WHEN to quit can be tricky.
There are two types of quitting. The first type is often called “short-quitting” and the second “long-quitting.”
Short-term discomfort often drives quitting.
But this ultimately stops us from getting a long-term benefit. This is “short-quitting.” It’s quitting to avoid short-term discomfort at the expense of long-term benefits.
For example, we might quit an hour-long workout at minute 15 because we’re tired. We escaped short-term discomfort, but gave up long-term health benefits gained from sticking it out.
“Long-quitting” is the opposite. In it, we embrace short-term discomfort to improve our lives in the long run. In this case, not quitting will actually make our lives worse over time.
Why?
Because if the goal isn’t the right one for you and you don’t quit, in the long run your life WON’T be better.
Long-quitting is vital in all kinds of contexts. For example, consider addictions. Getting off whatever you’re addicted to leads to a ton of discomfort, but your life improves in the long term.
Make Quitting a Skill
Instead of focusing on an overly simplistic “never quit” mindset, maybe it’s time to view quitting as a skill. See the skill as a series of decisions about efficiency and our intentions and objectives.
This takes honesty, courage, and an ability to see the long view. It also involves radical introspection about why we want to quit and what its consequences will be not just immediately but also weeks, months, and years from the moment of quitting.
What have you learned over the years about applying grit vs. quit in your own life decisions and goals?
Not a year passes where we all don’t have to face this choice on some level, right? Are you willing to embrace both your gritter and quitter selves?
Let me know!
shelli
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